Tired of Being Talked Over? Here’s How to Take Back Control — Without Raising Your Voice
For 15 years, I’ve coached Asian American professionals and students navigating tough workplace dynamics. One pattern has come up again and again: being underestimated, interrupted, or flat-out ignored in conversations — especially at work.
Culturally, many of us are conditioned to be agreeable, reserved, and deferential. But politeness shouldn’t come at the cost of being heard.
Getting talked over isn’t just annoying — it’s a subtle form of power theft. And it happens to more than just Asian Americans. If you’ve ever sat in silence while someone bulldozed over your point, you know exactly what I mean.
But here’s the truth: power isn’t taken — it’s surrendered. And it’s time to stop giving it away.
Say Their Name. Reclaim the Room.
Someone cuts you off mid-sentence? Don’t shrink. Say their name and hold the floor:
“Hey [Name], I’m not finished yet. I’ll come back to you.”
That simple sentence does three things: commands attention, calls out the behavior, and re-establishes your control — all without raising your voice. People instinctively pause when their name is spoken. Use that to your advantage.
Don’t Apologize. Don’t Flinch.
Stay calm. Keep going. You don’t need to justify speaking.
If the interruption persists, say:
“I’m still speaking.”
“One moment — let me finish.”
“As I was saying before the interruption…”
Say it flat, not forcefully. You don’t need anger to be powerful — just presence.
Zoom tip: If the person is talking over you virtually, turn down your speaker volume. Finish your point. Then turn back to them with:
“Okay [Name], did you want to add something now?”
When It Keeps Happening — Handle It 1:1
If someone consistently interrupts, pull them aside privately and say:
“When you interrupt, it comes across like my input isn’t valued. I’d appreciate it if you let me finish next time.”
If they still don’t get it? Be firmer:
“That’s the third time you’ve cut me off. Please stop.”
Then — and this matters — pause. Silence is powerful. Let it hang. Then return to your point:
“As I was saying…”
Defend Others. Elevate the Room.
If you see someone else getting cut off, speak up:
“Hey [Interrupter], I think [Name] was still speaking — I’d love to hear their full thought.”
You don’t need permission to do this. You’re protecting the integrity of the conversation, not just one person’s ego.
And if someone repeats an idea that wasn’t theirs?
“That’s a great point — the same one [Name] made earlier.”
“Thanks for echoing what I mentioned earlier.”
It’s not petty — it’s accountability.
Not All Interruptions Are Malicious — But They Still Need Addressing
Some people interrupt because they’re excited or careless, not cruel. You can still assert boundaries with kindness. But silence doesn’t create clarity — directness does.
Bottom line: You don’t have to yell to be heard. You just have to speak like you believe you belong. Because you do.