How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the 30-Second Rule to Make a Lasting First Impression

Making a good first impression is crucial in both personal and professional contexts. Likability is a key factor in success, and research has shown that likable individuals are more likely to motivate and influence others, lead effectively, excel in sales, and maintain good relationships. They are also more likely to be promoted or hired.

So, how can you make a good first impression? One approach is to follow the 30-second rule. This rule, proposed by leadership author John Maxwell, suggests that within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, you should offer something complimentary or encouraging to the person you’re speaking with.

Maxwell’s philosophy emphasizes the idea that people feel better and perform better when they are given attention, affirmation, and appreciation. Complimenting someone’s appearance might seem trivial, but finding something meaningful to say can make a lasting impression. Instead of talking about yourself, ask a question and focus on the other person’s experiences.

For instance, if you meet someone in a leadership role, you might say, “Then you’ve made the decision that your happiness comes from the success of others.” This statement is a compliment and invites the person to share their experiences of leading others. If you meet someone in sales, you could say, “I admire your ability to hear ‘no’ on a regular basis and still keep going. I’m not sure I could do it.” This acknowledgment opens up the conversation for them to talk about intrinsic motivation and perseverance.

The goal is to engage the other person in a meaningful conversation. Research has shown that talking about oneself activates the brain’s reward centers, which is why people enjoy talking about their experiences and perspectives. Asking thoughtful questions helps build rapport and shows genuine interest in the other person. It also encourages them to respond thoughtfully, creating a connection.

As Maxwell said, “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract cause us to withdraw.” By using the first 30 seconds to offer a compliment or encouraging statement, you set the tone for a positive and engaging conversation. This approach fosters a deeper connection and opens the door for further conversation.

By showing genuine care and asking questions that allow others to share their experiences, you not only create a good first impression but also build stronger relationships. Remember, everyone has unique knowledge, ideas, and experiences, and asking the right questions is key to learning more about them.